The dog that got it's day
by KitKat Roar
Summary: When you hit rock bottom. When you can't find your purposeor voice. When you fall for the wrong girl. When you are Embry Call and learning to fight against a destiny so oppresive...
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: WELCOME TO EMBRY'S WORLD. ALL THINGS BELONG TO STEPHANIE AS PER USUAL… I HAVE JUST DECIDED TO TAKE EMBRY, ANGSTIFY HIM AND SPIN A STORY. ENJOY**

**TWENTY ONE AND HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS**

There are things in this world that would scare you right back in to your mother's womb. There are factors that shape your very existence that don't give a damn whether you live, die or crap out gold. What I am trying to tell you is that… the universe you are living in… the life you live… the place you live… the people you live with… none of it matters.

Nothing matters.

"Embry!"

If I close my eyes tight enough and press the pillow hard enough over my head, I can hear heaven…

"Embry, get the FUCK down here…!"

If I hold my breath and bite my tongue real hard, I can taste freedom….

"Embry…!" she yells through the door, out of breath. Her small fists are banging hard on the door now, and with each bang she tells me how ungrateful I am. She stops after a minute, heaving and gasping, and then opts to try the door. I think she just remembered she took the key from me last week…

The door squeaks open and she shuffles in.

"You make me seem so evil…"she murmurs. "You make me out like the wicked witch to all these… all these…"

My head is buried in the mattress; the pillow lay over my head and my hands motionless at my sides. I'm pretending to be dead. Let's see if that will stop her from…

"Well, you and me both know the truth" she snarls and she hobbles fast towards the bed I lay on. The smell of whiskey hits me hard. "You ungrateful…"

And this time she starts lashing on my still body, her little hands slapping my exposed legs with each word and curse about my unknown son of a bitch father, with each reminder of how I messed up everything and each question of why I was at Sue's house for supper when she had made me dinner.

She hadn't made me dinner. I had checked on her before I headed out into the forest and sprinted to the town for a night of peace. She had been on the kitchen table, in front of Jack and Daniel… pouring three glasses for a party of one.

The rest of what she had said, well-the truth. My mother lashing and punching my body while I pretend to be dead-or to her, be passed out after whoring in the town and messing up some other good girl's life? It didn't matter, I was a Wolf. I didn't really feel the pain and if she somehow managed to hit hard enough to bruise my supernaturally strong skin… the bruise would disappear in seconds.

When I had been human and a kid, I had had to resort to sweaters and long sleeved t-shirts-which isn't really a problem since it used to always be cold. Now it's always hot. Like I am in hell.

"Mom" I sigh, getting up. She still slaps me and punches me, breathing hard like she is doing a work out. I let her. "Mom, I have to go take a shower and go see Sam later on…"

"Fuck Sam!"

"Mom… you need anything?" she stops her assault, hands levitating unsurely in the air and recognition filters into her eyes.

"Embry?" she says, unsure.

"Yeah mom?" my voice is level, like I wasn't receiving a painless thrashing from the woman who birthed me about how I should not exist.

"You'll be a good boy and pop by the liquor store and…"  
>"Just wine, mom. No hard stuff" I sigh.<p>

"That's fine. That'll do…" she murmurs, stroking my hair; like you would stroke a strange pet in a strange house.

"And only if you bathe…" there are certain smells a son should _never _smell from his mother. I wished she'd spilt the Jack Daniels all over her purple night gown just to throw it off…

"I bathed two days ago, what's with you and smells anyway" she snarls and then remembers I still have to get her wine so she smoothes her expression.

It always surprised me how much she notices and sees although she is either seriously drunk or recovering from a hangover all the time. She noticed how big I had gotten. She noticed how much I had begun to eat. She noticed how I now had to not be around when she was having her drunken tirades… my temper couldn't handle those or my phasing capabilities.

"Okay, I'm going to go take a shower and be off, okay?" I ask her.

"Okay, I'll make you breakfast" she lies, smiling sweetly while backing out of my bedroom. "I still don't like that Sam…"

I miss how a hot shower used to feel. The water is set to hot but warm water cascades down my back, through my hair and on my face. I miss having my own mind and not having to share everything… I miss not having to constantly have walls up in my mind-it scares me how good I am at it. Maybe I should be grateful there are fewer wolves; even if it isn't by much-but their departure signalled the end to feeling useful. Sure, patrolling was still something we did but seriously… the vampire population of the world is not that big that we would be getting any action until another dumb plain girl fell for a dead living hundred year old leech…

Well, that thought put my erection down quickly… guess no 'me time' help today.

I actually wish some of what mom said was true now; I wish I had been in town, ravishing nubile women and drinking merrily with hero-worshipping friends. What I had been doing instead was walking alone in Port Angeles, hair over my face self consciously, not making eye contact in case I imprint and hands shoved in my pockets- pockets that were so empty and roomy for said hands.

The one girl I knew I couldn't imprint on-we had made eye contact already-worked in a little jewellery store by this fancy restaurant and I had taken to stalking her. I was quite disciplined in the matter-I only walked past the store twice before roaming the streets and watching car's I would never drive, drive past me and clothes I would never wear worn by lifeless mannequin's.

I wish I was a lifeless mannequin. Maybe I already am?

It's been three years since I graduated from high school, four years since Jacob left and five years since I had some purpose. Is it sad that that purpose had been to protect Jacob's imprint? No, that's what friends do… lay down their lives for the soul trapping half human and half leech babies of their sworn enemies in order to keep their Alpha sane… were the fuck was my title as Saint?

"Hey Embry… so I'm heading to Leah's for the weekend, before she returns" Seth murmurs, eyeing me strangely.

"that's nice"

"yeah, it is… thing is she always leaves me alone and goes off with her friends and I'm left at her place all sad" he actually looks at me with puppy dog eyes when he says this.

"that sounds horrible"

"it wouldn't be so bad if I had my own friend with me" he says, and subsequently answers the nagging question on why he had made me sandwich.

"no"

"come on… I need a wing man!" he whines, even in his wolf growth spurt and twenty-five year old features-his eighteen year old face goes into sulk mode, lips pouting.

"stop that" I sigh.

"please come… Leah isn't so bad to you anymore"

"Seth, my mum…" I begin, and I feel my face twist in a panicked grimace of uncertainty and despair.

"Come on, you need a break big guy" he smiles understandingly, leaning over the table to pat my shoulder quickly. "My mum can check up on her… she's strong enough!"  
>"Yeah, your mum has balls…" I begin. "Uh, I mean she is brave"<p>

"So, you coming?" he asks, grinning too widely.

"What the hell" I shrug. "A night out around the town huh…"

"Exactly! We leave today, pack light… We're going via Wolf Express!"

She is twirling her hair between her fingers, staring at the giant menu on the wall. Her lips are pouting, her eyes wide and the thick lashes too long… so impossibly beautifully long. I should look away, this is the moment I set my eyes on the menu, look away Embry…

"What are you ordering?" she asks, not looking at me.

"Lashes"

"What…?" she looks at me questioningly. One eyebrow raised and her old scowl on her face. It has changed over the years, now it's just a side-pout…

"Embry, lashes?" Leah asks a quirky grin playing on her cherry caramel lips.

"Uh, coffee... De-café"

"One de-café and a latte and croissant" she murmurs.

We sit by the little coffee table in silence, she is looking at her phone and I am trying not to stare.

"Stop looking at me Embry" she sighs. "Seriously, you need to cut the weird shit out now"

"Sorry" I mumble, briefly looking at a couple over her head but then my eyes slide right back to her face and meet her eyes. I blush.

"You have seen me naked many times from phasing and it's me in the shower that has you acting stupid?"

"Uh…"  
>"Just shut up and get over it already" she says, smiling at the waitress as she brings our coffee and sets her croissant in front of her.<p>

"I am over it. You're not all that, you know" oh, how _not _over it I was. Shimmering, steaming, hazy mist around her long lean body with all those soft dunes….

"You better not be thinking about it" she snaps.

"I wasn't" I chuckle nervously. She is sending me death glares but all they do is cause a shiver up my spine, a hot liquid dripping back down and snaking in my lap.

"Well, your mode of transport back to La Push is Wolf Express right?" she says, smiling behind her cup. She enjoys it, my squirming and mock refusal of her. She enjoys my blush and inability to look away…

"Why?"

"Seth will be joining you, so I _know _you won't be thinking about me in the shower. Wet in the shower. Steaming in the shower…" she lowers her eyes to the paper in front of her, impish grin on her cherry lip gloss coated lips.

_What's so fascinating about lashes?_

_Why is showering so hot? I thought you hated them because the water never gets hot enough…?_

_Embry why why why_ he whines and I am slipping up

_Why are you singing the national anthem?_

If Seth had just concentrated on his path and not been asking me three thousand questions that required one answer, I wouldn't have slipped up. If Seth had just butted out for once in his life, the memory of Leah scowling at me while standing under the artificial rain called a shower would have been locked away for a more appropriate time…

_EW!_ Seth howls. He immediately carries of from where I left the national anthem.

"I really don't want to be here" Leah grumbles as Seth lets her go from his bear hug. I wish I could give her a bear hug…

"Embry dude, get the bags?" Seth says his eyes wide and expression impatient. "You were whining to come with me and get Leah from the airport so you could stand around with your hands in your pockets…?"

"He was whining to come?"Leah asks Seth, fiddling with something in her bag. She takes out her phone and flips it open; pressing the little buttons rapidly, her eyes staring intently at the screen.

I ignore them both as they go into sibling mode and pile her suitcases into the boot. She couldn't come back home via Wolf Express with all these bags she has-if she was still phasing that is... Who needs three jumbo suitcases for a week stay in freaking La Push?

"You are always on the phone" Seth whines.

"That's because I have a life outside of knowing freaky wolf people, college and work. Huh Embry?"

Why is she roping me into this? I am happy being invisible in the back seat, watching all the other cars drive into the airport and inhale her scent. She smells like rain…

"You're weird dude" Seth says, peering at me briefly before looking at the road.

"We are all weird" Leah sighs, finally closing the phone. "How many people do you know turn into a giant wolf?"  
>"True, but Embry…"<p>

"Leave Embry alone" Leah says. I feel emasculated having her defend me from little Seth, the sunshine boy.

"My flight was pleasant. Thanks for asking Embry" she says, smirking at me from her seat in the front of the car.

"I… I was getting to that" I stammer.

"Sure you were" she chuckles, shaking her head. "You're still getting to a lot of things…"

Seth snickers, his eyes twinkling as they look back at me from the rear-view mirror. He smiles knowingly and I know exactly what's going on in his mind…

My inability to get a girl when we where at Leah's place. My inability to talk to that Samantha when she sauntered over with Gayle. Samantha walking away in a huff after being left with a six foot four mute while her friend was somewhere doing _something _with Seth…

My excuse had been worrying about all my responsibilities. I told Seth he had no responsibilities. I had to worry about a manic alcoholic mother and all he had to worry about in his life was remembering to put on a condom…

He laughed so hard, tears streaming down his cheeks and called me out.

Embry, virgin… really? _Why…_

_I was still getting to a lot of things…_ I had better hurry up since I didn't want to live forever. Maybe if I did live forever, I wouldn't have to worry about it… but then I wouldn't have the luck of being hit by a bus and finally getting some peace.

**IF YOU LIKEY, AND WANT MORE-REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW. IT'S A LITTLE SIDE THING I HAD STARTED AND STOPPED. JUST DECIDED TO POST WHILE I GO THROUGH A BIT OF WRITERS BLOCK FOR 'THE MOHICAN PROJECT'.**

**TJ**


	2. Chapter 2

**WHEN ALL YOU CAN SAY IS NO**

It felt like the whole world was against me sometimes. It didn't give a fuck what my dreams where, whether the situations it thrust me in were ideal for my sanity. The whole world stood on the other side of the road, wondering why Embry the fucking chicken had crossed the _goddamned _road.

To get away. I just wanted some peace. A moment of it without having to sacrifice some part of me.

"So that Leah girl is back…" mom slurs, eyeing me knowingly. "You going to shag her?"

"Who uses the word shag in this day and age?" I exhale, pushing the ash tray towards her in a bid to save our crappy table.

"People who've shagged…"she snickered, her small frame shaking with glee "and I heard before she'd moved she'd been giving it to everyone…"

_Everyone but me._

"Uh, she's changed. Doing her law degree…"

"Doing a law degree doesn't mean she's changed. It just means she's gonna be giving it to every other law degree wielding idiot out there" she says, taking a drag on her menthol cigarette and puffing the smoke in my direction, all while watching me with the keenness of a vulture.

"She has…"

"No, what hasn't changed is you wanting that _Clearwater cunt..._" she hisses. "Sam had some sense dropping her…"

"I have to go… do something" I growl, leaving the house too fast and without a change of clothes to replace the ones I knew I wasn't going to be able to save before phasing.

"Uh…." I mumble, trying to back out of Sam's house slowly…

"You stalking me now, Call?" Leah smirks. "Coming in?"

"Uh…."  
>"Close the door Embry. Seth is here too, so you can sit around doing shit all and eating Emily's cooking together"<p> 

"why is your sister here" I whisper to Seth. he is scowling at Sam's tiny ancient televisions set.

"Don't know… she wanted to chat with Emily. Made me drive her here so she can text in the passenger seat freely" he sighs, folding his arms before handing me the remote.

"Chat with Emily?" I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. "so where are they?"

"Just ask me Embry, Leah doesn't have super hearing anymore and neither does Sam"

"uh, what about…?" I whisper anyway.

"Don't know… I'm glad they're getting along that's all"

"So she came home to 'get along'?" I stop watching the poor quality TV set and stare at Seth.

"Something's up, Em… but I can't tell you what it is…" he sighs, slumping further into the soft couch. "If I were you I wouldn't pester her about it"

"wasn't planning on"

"So what I need you to do, is just give them a talk"

"why can't you do it?" I whine.

"Because I am not a wolf anymore Embry… and you're the oldest" Sam sighs, scoffing down his doughnut's. His appetite did not change when he stopped phasing. I felt sorry for the waistband of his tracksuit pants…

"no, I' not… well, only by months. Quil can…"

"Just do it Embry, you have got to get over this 'talking' thing" he huffs, throwing a half eaten doughnut back into the box. "Call them to the clearing by that huge red wood…"

"Seth is by lineage…"

"Shut up Embry and just do as I say!" thank god he isn't the alpha anymore. It would suck doing 'everything' he says…

_So Sam wanted me to give you this talk…_ I think to the reast of them, still trying to word the talk out and they pounced on my indecision.

_Dude, seriously? Mental stammering…? _Collin snickered.

_Don't run up into Canada please_ I sigh.

_That's the talk Embry?Seriously…? _Seth asks, prodding through y memory for the original version.

_Who the fuck decided to get seen by a game ranger in Canada? _Seth screeches. _Like fuck, we aren't kids anymore… there is no reason for _anyone _to be seen… _

Everyone listens intently to his chastising while I quietly exit the wolf link. It was much easier for Seth, since he was genetically next in line in terms of being in charge… It was odd running around with no Alpha. We felt… lost. What with Jake so far away and having to deal with his own life, things were just warped.

"Hey Em,, I didn't mean to take over back there" Seth says, handing me a beer. "Just… well, you gotta take charge with these pups otherwise they run all over you"

Like he had done?

"Anyway" he sighs. "I'm going to Alaska his weekend, come with me?"  
>"No"<p>

"Dude, do you have to make me beg every time or do you secretly like my puppy dog act?"

"No"

"No, don't like my puppy dog act or….?"  
>"Seth, no"<br>"Fuck!" Seth shouts, slamming the beer hard on the table. "you make it so hard…."

"Why are you swearing so loudly…" Leah asks, emerging from the study… were loud music had been playing, with the phone in her hand, receiver covered.

"How are you having a telephone conversation with music that loud" Seth counters, not bothering to look at her.

"Because you can be nosey when you're bored" she hisses, turning around to head back in the study. "Sorry, Thomas… you were saying?"

Seconds later the music has been turned up again.

"whose Thomas?" I ask Seth.

"her boyfriend"

"Why didn't you tell me she had a boyfriend?"  
>"you never asked" he says grinning. "and even if you did, I wouldn't tell you because it has no consequence to your being"<p>

"you're right. But I'm her brother…" I try.

"_were _her brother when she was in the _pack_" he elaborates. "and brothers don't think about their sisters in the shower…"

"is it about that? Seth, it was an accident, bro"

"I know" he sighs. "you come across any colleges you like?"

"uh…"

"that's one of the reasons I'm heading down to Alaska. Edward is changing colleges next year, he asked if I would be interested in joining him at his new college" Seth says, getting up from the couch. "you staying for dinner?"

"I think…"

"you're staying. Anyway…" he continues, walking to the kitchen and I follow him in a daze. "Going to talk about that. He asked if you would be interested too. It won't be so bad, although Jake won't be with us I think…"  
>"I can't go to college" I said sitting down slowly on the kitchen stool.<p>

"what are you talking about! You're the smartest guy I know… You got that Math and Physic's certificate thing when you graduated…"

"what I mean is I can't afford it" I said bluntly, studying the counter top.

"we can work something out…" Seth says, waving his hand like it was no issue that I was en cents short of poor.

"I am not taking any pity money from any… from the Cullen's"

"after all these years and they are still _leeches?_" he asks, visibly hurt.

They weren't still leeches to me. Like, I wouldn't go crazy if I saw one of them but I would avoid them like the plague. They had caused me to phase. They had ruined a lot inadvertently. If I wasn't phasing when I had done my last year… things may be different. if I could control my emotional state to stop in time to get a scholarship and not worry about so _much _then maybe… if I hadn't realised how much more my mother needed me…

They weren't just vampires. They were the Cullen's. Rich, glamorous and beautiful…

They were everything I wanted but could never be.

"Embry, this isn't you…" Seth says intently. "Look, I know you've been dealing with a lot but you don't let _prejudices _get in the way of…"

"Seth, I have to go" I get up and leave without a backward glance.

"hey" Leah whispers, standing at y front door with nothing but a thin cardigan on. It's snowing. She isn't a wolf…

"what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you" she says, her eyes staring at my feet. "you not gonna let me in? it's snowing if you cant tell…"

"Right, uh…"my house is a mess, my mother passed out on the mouldy couch in the dining room. "Okay, but be real quiet and ignore the mess"

"I always do"

"You're room…" she murmurs, spinning around the limited floor space. "not what I expected"

"What did you expect?"

"A mess, like Seth's room"

My room was different from all the other rooms. Ridiculously organised and clean. It was the one place where everything had a purpose and fell into place. The one clean place…

"So, are you ever going to cut that hair?" Leah asks, sweeping my hair out of my face. I move away from her touch and she smiles. "I don't bite anymore, Em"

"Why are you here, Leah?" I ask abruptly.

"You don't want me here"

"no" another abrupt answer.

"I like you better when you stammer" she whispers, taking a deliberate step forward to the bed, were I sit still, watching her.

"I….."

"That's better" she says smiling, taking another step. "you didn't answer my question?"  
>"Which…." I begin, but she takes another step, her fingers going into my hair, manicured nails scraping my scull before she fists my hair out of my face… pulling it and thus, pulling my head up, to face her.<p>

I close my eyes. I don't want to look at her, standing over me… holding me by the hair like this.

"your hair, Embry… what are we going to do about it?" she asks again, her voice low and husky.

"I like it long"

"I like it long too" she snickers. "but I don't know what _that _has to do with your hair?"  
>"i… meant my hair"<p>

"It doesn't have to be so sticky and slick just because it's so long" she growls into my ear. "Why are you're eyes closed, do you still think I am medusa?"

"Ngh…" I groan as she tugs my hair up wildly. It doesn't hurt like it would have if she was a wolf… but the sensation…

"Embry, look at me" she commands, her warm breathe fanning my face.

My eyes open automatically and her face is inches from my own. I inhale a sharp breathe and straight after that, my heart goes into overdrive… I start hyperventilating…. My moth is dry and suddenly I don't know what to do with my hands but then I realise something.

Leah smells a little like my mum. She smells like alcohol and her pupils are dilated.

"you've been drinking" I state.

"and then?" she asks, her fist still violently gripping my hair.

"you're drunk"

"so?"

"what are you _doing _here, Leah?" I ask her seriously, removing her hand forcefully from my head.

"I'm here to fuck you Embry Call" she says, smiling innocently. "I want to rock you're brains out…"

"Leah, let me take you home" I get up and look around for her car keys.

"Not until you fuck me" she slurs.

I spot the keys and grab them from the side table and grab her hand. She tries to jerk away; half heartedly but them complies and lets me lead her down stairs, stumbling now and giggling slightly.

"You are _still _a virgin!" she giggles as I click her seat belt over her. "Virgin Embry, oh my gosh!"

"Leah…"I warn, turning Sue's truck and pulling out of the drive way.

"Shhhh…" she murmurs, still giggling. "I won't tell Embry, but if you're gay… that's fine too"

"you have to do _something…_" Sam says, trying to make me look him in the eye. "I mean, you need some purpose kid"

"I know…"  
>"if it's about your mum, you have to… you have to let that life go if you're going to have a future kid"<p>

"I can't…"

"Embry" Sam sighs, shaking his head. "what do you want to do, run around La Push for the rest of your days, buying her wine and feeding her alcoholism while depriving yourself of a life"

Exactly. "no"

"See, I knew there was some ambition in you" he smiles weakly. "now, this Cullen thing Seth says…"  
>"I <em>can't take <em>their money!"

"kid, look… here is what I think we can do" he says, taking a sip of his coffee. "we'll get you a scholarship… hook and nail, and just ask Edward…"

"no"

"we'll ask Edward and Seth to stay with you"

"you mean you'll ask Edward and Seth if I can _stay _with _them" _ I hiss.

"…well, anyway… you'll have people you know with you" he finishes and sits back in his wing back chair, visibly pleased with himself. "you'll have friends"

"I'm twenty one Sam" I sigh. "I don't need you scouting for friends for me."

"Seth has always…"  
>"No" I cut him. "We are just…."<p>

I didn't have a word for Seth and I. We were just stuck in La Push with each other while everyone else went about their business. Him more so because of school. Me…well…

"Edward's not so bad" he says, scrunching up his nose like he can smell a vampire. "I mean, once you get past his know it all cockiness…"

"No"

"So you leave with Seth for Alaska this weekend. I've already asked Seth to talk to Edward." Sam says, bulldozing any pretence that I had a say in this.

"What about what I want?"

"Embry, you don't _know _what you want" he says, smiling warmly at me. If I didn't know better, I'd say Sam was interfering in my life more so because I looked like his son than him being my ex Alpha…

"It's just for the weekend mom"

"You never even _liked _Dr Cullen" she grumbles. She did like him ofcourse, to piss off all the elders…

"Jake…"

"That Black boy?" she pauses and then laughs. "That came out wrong, anyway… him I liked out of all these other tribal backward…"

"The Makah are cultural too"

"Don't talk about what you don't know" she hisses. "Well, if it's to see Jacob Black and the good Doctor Cullen…"

"I am not asking for permission"

"That's what you're always doing, Embry" she says, smiling lovingly. "Now be a good boy and make my bed…"

_Dude, we are going to have so much fun! A fun filled weekend of Esme's cooking, X-box and fast cars!_

_Could you be any _less _materialistic….?_

_Whatever, man. Oh, thanks for driving Leah home the other night. I can only imagine what guy would have offered to 'drive her home' from that bar… _Seth says, remembering some police report Charlie had shown him of a missing girl.

_Bar…oh yeah._

_Dude, how do you manage to stammer in thought! _I catch up to Seth and grins, his tongue lolling out and he starts pushing faster… increasing speed.

_Must be all the fur holding you back, Embry_ he snickers, weaving easily through the trees and leaving behind a billow of sand. _You gotta cut your hair, dude_

How does he do that? Always says the wrong right things, asks just the right questions and scarily in sync with Leah? Of course the memory of Leah pulling on my hair and turning me very much on comes rushing to the fore front of my mind and the next thing I know, Seth has crashed into a tree.

_Fuck!_

I catch up to him and stay a good distance away as he gets up and inspects his hind leg. The tree is completely destroyed; snapped in half and dangling by a thread of bark.

_Dude, you said you went to the Bar_ he accuses, wheeling around and glaring at me through amber wolf eyes. his muzzle is pulled over his teeth.

_I just agreed with what she told you, I guess she had been embarrassed so…_

_You were taking advantage…!_

_Seth, you clearly saw that as soon as I realised she was drunk…_I say quickly, backing away from him as he stalks me…

_Fuck, forget it. I get it. Thanks anyway. _He huffs. _Let's go… I don't want to miss another second of paradise._


End file.
